Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

I recognize that this is hard. But let me tell you what’s really
hard: dating/living with/having a baby with a man who has no
intention of marrying you and eight years up the road, he walks
out and you’re left to find a new man/pay all the bills after years
of splitting them with someone else/raising those kids on your
own. Oh, it can be done. But recognize just how hard that will
be. All I’m suggesting is that you get the little uncomfortable
moments out of the way early—let him know now what you
want and expect. Make clear to him what you’re worth, and
that you come at a cost; tell him how much you’re worth like
you’re about to list yourself on eBay for a million dollars. Break
down your value: say, “I respect you, I adore you, I’m affection-
ate, I pay attention to you, I’m punctual, I’m kind, I’m loyal, I’ll
have your children and love them madly—and all of this is
available for a handsome sum. I need your time, loyalty, support,
affection, attention, punctuality, kindness, gentleman ways—I
need the doors opened, chairs pulled out, your respect, and
above all else, your love. I also expect a diamond ring and a
walk down the aisle.”
Now when a man hears this, he’s going to pay attention,
because you’ve placed a high value on yourself. He’ll see that
and question the situation: “Is she worth all of that?” If your
cost is too high, he will move on. But you don’t want that guy
anyway, right? He’s just looking to rent you. People who rent
don’t care anything about the property they’re with—they let it
get run down, beat up, don’t care what it looks like. They use
the space, and when they find something better, they decline