time with my husband tonight, but once again, his
mother got in the way. Don’t get me wrong: I love the
fact that he respects and helps his mother, but some-
times I feel left out. My kids and I are often put on the
back burner because he is always doing something for his
mother. All these years I have kept my thoughts about
this to myself, but I don’t know how much more I can
take... his mother is always taking away from our
family. I sometimes feel like I didn’t marry a man...
I need him to be a man and take control.Now I sympathize for “Did I Marry a Man or a Boy?” I hear
from all too many women who face the same problem: their
men are excessively attached to their mothers at an age where
you expect the sons to be totally independent—it’s a bond that
allows the mothers of these men to exert all kinds of control
over their lives, usually to the detriment of romantic relation-
ships. The mother says, “Jump,” the son asks, “How high and
when do you need me to be back?” and the girlfriend/wife rolls
her eyes and sits in the corner with her mouth poked out, won-
dering (a) why this grown man just can’t fix his mouth to say
no every once in a while, (b) why this woman holds so much
power over her man, and (c) what kind of tool can she buy/
rent/borrow/invent to detach the two of them so that she and
her man can get back to the business of building a life together.
No matter what they say, no matter what they do, no matter how