Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

late his wife’s standards? Men cannot read minds, and we are
completely incapable of anticipating what you want.
So you have to speak up.
She didn’t say it in the letter, but my guess is that “Did I
Marry a Man or a Boy?” failed to speak up about her mother-
in-law’s abuse of power for over a decade because she was afraid
that he would leave her—that if she tried to drive a wedge be-
tween her man and his mom, he’d choose his mother over her.
I’ll tell you, though, that men don’t work this way; if your man
truly loves you and he’s a real man, he’ll figure out a way to get
his mom onboard with making his woman happy—to smooth
everything out so that the relationship can work for all parties
involved.
First, acknowledge that you can’t compete with this woman:
she changed his diapers, she can cook his favorite dish exactly
the way he likes it, she knows most of—if not all—of his friends,
and she’s known him longer than anybody. Her blood courses
through his veins. If he loves his mother and they have a good
relationship, you’re not going to get in the middle of that. (And
honestly, you’ll realize it’s much better to be in a relationship
with a man who loves his mother than it is to be with someone
who can’t stand the woman who gave birth to him; I’m going
to go out on a limb here and say that the latter probably won’t
ever be able to commit to a loving, stable relationship with a
woman if he couldn’t get that single most important, obvious,
easy male/female relationship right, but the guy who loves his
mother and treats her with respect is the guy who will know