Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

how to act with you.) But you most certainly can work with
your man and his mom by controlling what you do have con-
trol over—by using your powers to set standards and require-
ments that he needs to abide by as the two of you work to
create a family or to blend your families together. Instead of
writing an angry “Strawberry Letter” in the middle of the
night when her man tiptoed out of the house to help his mom,
“Did I Marry a Man or a Boy?” should have stopped her hus-
band at the bedroom door and told him something like, “Look,
I know you love your mother and you’d do anything for her,
but it’s not acceptable to me for you to leave me and these babies
here in this house alone to bake cookies. If you choose to go
over there, then you need to stay over there for the night.”
This would not have been evil or unreasonable. Leaving a
woman and children in the house at a quarter to eleven at
night—whether to bake cookies or go to the strip club—is un-
acceptable if that woman thinks it is. And if she lets her man
know this, she’s making him aware of the standards he needs to
live up to in order to stay in their relationship. Once it’s said,
the ball is in his court. He can either go bake cookies, or he can
be a man and call his mother and set it straight—tell her he can’t
come by tonight, but he can drop off some store-bought baked
goods in the morning before he leaves for work. His mother
may not be happy about this, but what would you care? Again,
you can’t control how she feels about her son’s actions, and you
can’t control her son’s actions, but you can control how you feel
and what you expect of your man.