WILLIAMS AND LEBSOCK
think of her that way. I think of her as a colleague, and that’s the way
I suspect she’d like to be thought of.”
Clear takeaways emerge for women, too. If a coworker tries to
take a work relationship in a sexual direction, tell him clearly if that’s
unwelcome. If you face sexual joking that’s making you uncomfort-
able, say, “This is making me uncomfortable” and expect it to stop.
If you want to shame or jolly someone out of misbehavior while
preserving your business relationships, consult Joan’s What Works
for Women at Work. Here’s an approach that worked for one woman
whose colleague proposed an aff air: “I know your wife. She’s my
friend. You’re married. There is just no way I would ever consider
that. So let’s not go there again.”
But it’s our fi nal piece of advice that signals the tectonic shift:
If you are being sexually harassed, report it. We’re not sure if we
would have advised that, in such a blanket and unnuanced way,
even a year ago.
What we’re seeing today is not the end of sex, or of seduction, or
of la diff érence. What we’re seeing is the demise of a work culture
where women must submit to being treated, insistently and inces-
santly, as sexual opportunities. Most people, when they go to work,
want to work. And now they can.
Originally published in January 2018. Reprint BG1801