What I really want to say here is don’t act on your impulses no
ma er how anxious you get, but that’s easier said than done. See
as you’re going through this change process, you’re going to be
confronted by situa ons that provoke your anxiety and they will
likely engage your old ways of thinking. Telling yourself not to act
on your impulses might work for some people. But I have found
that se ng a freak out deadline is a great strategy too.
So, when you are confronted by a situa on or something seems to
be going wrong, rather than reflexively panicking and following
your old script, set a deadline for when you'll allow yourself to deal
with it. Let’s say you don’t see your boyfriend as o en as you’d
like. Maybe you’d like to see him more or see him a few mes
during the week.
Instead of panicking, tell yourself that you'll be fine with things for
the me being, and if nothing changes in a month, then you can
deal with it.
Un l then, go back to your flashcards, read them, and tell yourself
that you’re going to enjoy the rela onship and not let this bother
you. This li le exercise will help you train your mind to stay calm
and avoid spinning into a frenzy. And usually, whatever problem
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