Something happened as he heard me speak of the mercy of God to
wicked sinners. There was no accusation in my tone. Neither his
father nor I knew there was more money. What happened? Charlie’s
conscience was smitten by the gospel! Something in what I said
struck a chord that resonated within his young, larcenous heart. The
gospel hit its mark in his conscience.
Correcting with a Central Focus on Redemption
(^) The central focus of childrearing is to bring children to a sober
assessment of themselves as sinners. They must understand the mercy
of God, who offered Christ as a sacrifice for sinners. How is that
accomplished? You must address the heart as the fountain of
behavior, and the conscience as the God-given judge of right and
wrong. The cross of Christ must be the central focus of your
childrearing.
(^) You want to see your child live a life that is embedded in the rich
soil of Christ’s gracious work. The focal point of your discipline and
correction must be your children seeing their utter inability to do the
things that God requires unless they know the help and strength of
God. Your correction must hold the standard of righteousness as high
as God holds it. God’s standard is correct behavior flowing from a
heart that loves God and has God’s glory as the sole purpose of life.
This is not native to your children (nor to their parents).
(^) Discipline exposes your child’s inability to love his sister from his
heart, or genuinely to prefer others before himself. Discipline leads to
the cross of Christ where sinful people are forgiven. Sinners who
come to Jesus in repentance and faith find grace and mercy. Jesus’
redemptive work entails forgiveness, internal transformation, and
empowerment to live new lives.
(^) The alternative is to reduce the standard to what may be fairly
expected of your children without the grace of God. The alternative is
to give them a law they can keep. The alternative is a lesser standard