Shepherding a Child's Heart

(Barré) #1

(^) The function of the rod and communication is rescue. Correction
and discipline moves your child from the peril of rebellion and
disobedience back into the circle of safety. The child has not just
disobeyed Mommy or Daddy. He has disobeyed God. He has made
himself liable to the discipline and correction that God has appointed
for disobedient children. The function of discipline is to restore him
to the safety and protection of the circle.
(^) I have drawn this circle for my children scores of times, entreating
them to willing submission to authority, explaining that Dad was not
mad at them, but rather Dad was on a rescue mission. I have asked
them, “How could I see you in peril and not seek to rescue you?”
Honoring Defined
(^) Honoring parents means to treat them with respect and esteem
because of their position of authority. It is honoring them because of
their role of authority. If a child is going to honor his parents, it will
be the result of two things: 1) The parent must train him to do so. 2)
The parent must be honorable in his conduct and demeanor.
(^) It is not easy to train children to honor parents in a culture in
which no one is honored. One of the clearest ways to show honor is in
the way children speak to their parents. Children must never speak to
their parents in imperatives. They must never speak to Mom and Dad
as they would speak to a peer. They must be taught to express their
thoughts in a manner that shows proper respect.
(^) This can be done kindly through statements such as these: “I am
sorry, dear, but you may not speak to me in that way. God has made
me your mother and has said that you must treat me with honor. Now,
let’s see if there is a respectful way you can express what you wish to
say.”
(^) Or, “Dear, I am not one of your chums. You may speak to your
friends in a flippant manner, but you may not speak to me in that way.
Now, what was it that you wanted to say?” Or, “Dear, you cannot give

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