has not yielded the harvest of peace, I must signal to the child that
something is radically wrong. I might say something like this: “I
love you, son, I have disciplined you as much as is appropriate at this
time. My desire is to see you submit to Daddy. My goal is total
restoration of our relationship and closeness. I am going to pray for
us. I am going to pray that I will be a dad who is wise and kind. I will
pray that you will submit to God’s order for family life and will honor
and obey Mom and Dad.
(^) This restoration process is paramount. If the issue has not been
your personal anger, but the child’s moving out of the circle of safety,
then you don’t want your child to be in the dog-house. Nor do you
want to be in the doghouse.
(^) When the discipline is over, it is over. There is no carryover. The
slate is clean. It is time to start fresh. The restoration process ensures
that you can do that.
(^) 8. Pray with him. Encourage him with the fact that Christ is given
because we are people who sin. There is forgiveness in Christ. Christ
can be known. Christ can remove his heart of stone and give a heart of
flesh. Christ can work by his Spirit to compel him to obey God. Christ
can empower and enable him to obey in the future.
(^) You need to shepherd your children in the ways of God at all
times. There is, however, no more powerful time to press the claims
of the gospel than when your children are being confronted with their
need of Christ’s grace and power during discipline. When the wax is
soft during discipline, the time is right to impress the glories of
Christ’s redemption.
(^) In terms of training methods, you are using both the processes
God has given: the rod and communication. Because you are dealing
with young children, there is a heavy emphasis on the undeniably
tactile experience of spanking. Your words have weight with a young
child if they are underscored with a spanking.
(^) Recall Chapter 7, “Discarding Unbiblical Methods.” You will