(^) Instead, they began to get under the behavior and peel back the
layers of excuses and reasons for feeling grumpy. Eventually, they got
to the “overflow of the heart” issue. Carrie was mad because things
weren’t going her way. Inside, she wanted to play God. She wanted to
call the shots. She wanted her will to be done on earth as God’s will is
done in heaven. She had decided how things should go and they
weren’t going that way. The “overflow of the heart” issue here was
being dissatisfied with the job God was doing governing the world.
She was not self-conscious of all this, but these were the root issues.
(^) Unless you take behavior apart in this way, you end up always
addressing the externals. You will be like the man who tries to solve
the problem of weeds in his lawn by mowing the grass. The weeds
always grow back.
Appealing to the Conscience
(^) Your children need heart change. Change in the heart begins with
conviction of sin. Conviction of sin comes through the conscience.
Your children need to be convicted that they have defected from God
and are covenant-breakers. They must come to the conviction that the
inner man, who relates to God, is an idolater—guilty before God. To
help them, you must appeal to the conscience.
(^) As mentioned in chapter 12, we have a pattern for appeal to the
conscience, in the ministry of Jesus. He consistently dealt with the
conscience, forcing men to judge themselves and their motives.
Dealing with character issues requires learning how to appeal to the
conscience. If you wish to deal with character and not just with
behavior, you must deal with the child in a deep way that enables him
to see the implications of his behavior and to indict himself.
(^) In Luke 10, a lawyer (an expert in the Hebrew Scriptures) came to
Christ and tested him by asking, “Teacher—What must I do to inherit
eternal life?” Jesus asked him how he understood the Law, and he
responded with the two great commandments: Love God and your
barré
(Barré)
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