right way. Your children are responsible for the way they respond to
your parenting.
(^) Determinism makes parents conclude that good shaping
influences will automatically produce good children. This often bears
bitter fruit later in life. Parents who have an unruly and troublesome
teenager or young adult conclude that the problem is the shaping
influences they provided. They think if they had made a little better
home, things would have turned out okay. They forget that the child is
never determined solely by the shaping influences of life. Remember
that Proverbs 4:23 instructs you that the heart is the fountain from
which life flows. Your child’s heart determines how he responds to
your parenting.
(^) Mr. and Mrs. Everett had a rebellious 15-year-old son. They could
see that they had made many mistakes in childrearing. Their
mistakes, however, blinded them to his needs. When they saw their
son, they saw their failures. As a result, they never saw him as a boy
who was choosing to sin. They failed to see that he was choosing not
to believe and obey God. They had not been perfect parents, it was
true. Their son, however, had not been a good son. That part was true
too.
(^) Their view failed to consider the fact that human beings are
creatures who are directed by the orientation of their hearts. The child
is not inert during childhood. Your children interact with life. This
leads us to our next chapter and our next chart.
Application Questions for Chapter 2
(^) 1. What have been some of the prominent shaping influences of
your child’s life?
(^) 2. What is the structure of your family? How has that affected
your son or daughter?
(^) 3. What would your children identify as the values of your
family? What are the things that matter most to you?