The Conscious Parent

our teens are saying when they turn their back on us, turn up the
television, or slam the door. Our children won’t communicate with us
unless we learn to detach ourselves from our own unconsciousness and
enter a state of still and open receptivity to their consciousness.
As we witness our children going through their emotional states and
restrain our tendency to analyze or pigeonhole a particular state, we
equip them to become aware of their own inner witness. By not jumping
in to tell them what they are feeling or experiencing, we open up the
space for them to come to these insights for themselves. We give them a
chance to hear their own voice, which is the only thing that ever changes
anyone. This is much more beneficial for them than anything we can say.
When we open up a space for self-reflection by resisting the impulse
to interfere, it’s possible our children will ask of their own accord,
“Mommy, why am I so angry?” To which we can respond, “Would you
like to explore this together?” We then lead them in asking their own
inner being what’s going on with them, encouraging them to sit with
their feelings without trying to answer their question, assuring them the
insight they seek will emerge of its own accord—perhaps in a few
moments, or perhaps at some later time, but always when it’s required.
To help our children sit with their feelings and wait for their own
answers to come is so much more empowering than “explaining” to
them.
When our children have questions, we believe we must have a neat and
tidy answer, ready to bestow on them a well-packaged response.
However, what if we were to simply respond, “I don’t know”? This
sounds counterintuitive, but here’s how it works: When we present our