passions, and choose their own friends. If we have done a decent job of
teaching them how to respect themselves and others from a young age,
we need have no concern over them losing this respect once they grow
older.
When we negotiate flexible rules with our children, we show resilience
and simultaneously model a willingness to learn emotional lessons
alongside our children. We drop our “perfect” agenda and instead learn
about our imperfect self. This frees us to take a softer approach, so that
potentially stressful situations can then be addressed with creativity and
in a spirit of fun.
As we model a willingness to engage in a collaborative solution to a
situation, we infuse the process with a sense that we are in this together.
Our children learn that all parties in a relationship need to be heard,
which leads to each getting what really matters to them. In this way, our
children learn to think outside the box in order to come up with creative
solutions that work for everyone. This is an especially important lesson
in today’s increasingly diverse world.WHY TEACHING IS MORE EFFECTIVE THAN
PUNISHMENT
There are times when it’s necessary to confront inappropriate behavior. If
your children engage in thoughtless acts, you need to bring their attention
to their thoughtlessness in the here and now. For instance, if your child
hits someone or behaves in a bratty manner, it’s imperative that you
respond in a swift and engaged manner. How you do so will depend on
your child’s level of maturity.