Using the tools and techniques of Love and Logic when raising
children is a parent’s best insurance against feeling frustrated. Love and
Logic parents may feel sad for their child, they may be empathetic about
the consequences the child suffers, but Love and Logic parents are
generally far too effective to be frustrated!
LOVE AND LOGIC TIP 20
“No Problem”The phrase “No problem” is a lifesaver for the parent confronted
with a misbehaving child. When Mom or Dad says it, even the
dumbest kid in the world can figure out what it means: No problem
for the adult, big problem for the kid. When we say, “No problem,”
we give ourselves a few precious seconds to come up with thinking
words that will inform our children what we will do, not what they
have to do.Under Your Power or Under My Power
When Aidan’s five minutes are up, Dad must then enforce this child’s
choice. He could use fighting words like, “You get in my car,” but much
better would be thinking words like, “My car is leaving now.” Probably
Aidan will say, “Yeah, but I’m not finished.” Once again Dad would offer
Aidan choices: “No problem, son. You can go under your own power or
my power. Either one.” The point Aidan must understand is that the car’s
leaving and Aidan’s being in it doesn’t depend on whether or not he’s
done eating. The car is leaving — period.
Assuming Aidan decides not to come with Dad willingly — a
reasonable assumption, by the way — then Dad must pick Aidan up and
head for the door with him. (An important note on choices: There are
always three. In this example, Aidan can do it one way, or he can do it the
other way. The third option is that the parent will decide. Aidan didn’t
decide, so his dad decided for him.)
A lot of parents are bothered by what comes next. After all, it is