as parents. They’re exactly the things we don’t want to happen to our
children. Dylan gets cold when he doesn’t wear his jacket. Samantha gets
hungry when she goes to bed without eating. We are tempted to remind
them of the pain of cold and the misery of hunger. But if we want the
consequences to do their work effectively, we cannot afford to take that
luxury.
Cole, age nine, was a sleepyhead. Every morning, he’d beat to death
the snooze alarm on his bedside clock. Seven o’clock, then 7:10, then
7:20, and every time the jarring buzz of his alarm rattled his ears, his fist
would promptly pound on the snooze button, and he’d be back in
dreamland.
Mom quickly tired of this every-morning hassle, and she decided to let
the consequences teach her son a lesson. One day when Cole roared
downstairs twenty minutes before school was to start, warmly yet firmly
she said, “Oh, glad to see you’re up. What do you think you’ll do today in
your room?”
“In my room?” Cole said. “I’m going to school!”
“Well, that’s good,” Mom said. “How are you going to get there? The
bus left ten minutes ago.”
“You’re going to take me, of course,” Cole replied.
“Oh, sorry,” Mom said. “I can’t do that. I’ll be busy with my
housework all day. Feel free to arrange other transportation or spend the
rest of the day in your room so I can do my work without any
interruptions, just like on other school days.
“When lunchtime comes, feel free to make something for yourself,”
Mom continued. “And if I go on any errands this afternoon, I’ll take care
of getting a babysitter for you. But don’t worry if you can’t pay the sitter.
You can pay me back later in the week, or I can take it out of your
allowance. But you have to worry about that only if I have to go out on an
errand. So it’s not a problem right now. Have a nice day, Cole. I’ll see
you at 3:30 when you normally get home on the bus.”
Of course, when the next morning rolled around, Cole wanted an
excuse note. Mom said, “Oh, I can understand that. I know how nice a
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