PEARL 22

Grandparents

Summertime. Family reunions. Grandpa, Grandma, Mom, Dad, and the

kids. Rare and wonderful moments often transpire between grandparents
and their grandchildren during these family get-togethers — and between
the grown children and their parents as well. Sometimes grandparents
care for their grandchildren while the parents are at work.
Grandparenting with Love and Logic covers intergenerational issues in
depth.
Sadly, the parent-child relationship is oftentimes stressed by the
behavior of our kids when they’re around us and our parents at the same
time. Usually kids are fine when alone with one or the other, but put the
three generations together and it can be spontaneous combustion.
Disagreement occurs when we raise our kids differently than the way we
were raised, especially if we were raised with techniques different from
Love and Logic parenting.
Grandparents may not understand what is going on between us and our
kids. We react to our kids’ mistakes with sadness rather than anger; we
show kindness rather than protection; we’re concerned but not worried.
Generally, we give our kids responsibility, allowing for failure and
knowing that the price tags of failure are affordable and the children will
learn great lessons from their experiences.
In more cases than not, our parents handled us entirely differently.
Grandparents who do not understand these techniques may become
critical and accusatory: “How could you let that happen to Drew?” they
say, and tension within the relationship arises.