the time-out period is up but the child’s not done with the tantrum?
You don’t want to let him out in his condition, and in a sense, he’s
just earned another time-out. Fortunately, the answer to this dilemma
is simple. If the child is four or older, the time-out doesn’t start until
the tantrum is over. So if it takes him fifteen minutes to calm down,
the rest period starts after fifteen minutes. And if it takes the kid two
hours to calm down (he could be a room wrecker!), the time-out starts
after two hours.
Resist the temptation to stick your head into his room every five or
ten minutes saying things like, “Come on now, don’t you think that’s
enough? We miss you. Dinner’s in five minutes and you have
homework to do.” Just leave him alone until he’s tired of being angry.
The only children we don’t use this temper-tantrum modification
for are the two- and three-year-olds. They don’t seem to get the idea,
so just let them out after a couple of minutes, even if they’re still
tantruming, and cross your fingers. Once they’re out, ignoring the
child is usually more effective than trying to talk him out of his
irritation. If he still doesn’t quiet down, leave him in a little longer
the next time.
One caution. Some kids will tantrum due to sensory issues. Their
socks or shoes or sweater literally rubs them the wrong way. These
sensory irritabilities are not misbehavior, nor does the child choose to
be this way. Take the child’s opinions seriously, and avoid the
offending smells, tastes, or feels.
Pouting
Pouting is a passive behavior that is designed to make you feel guilty.
Try not to feel guilty when your child sulks after receiving
consequences for misbehavior. Why should you feel bad for trying to
be a good parent? Remember: the demanding, firm part of parenting