is essential to the job, even if it temporarily upsets your child.
So if you discipline a child and she gives you the ultimate in
martyr looks, just turn around, say nothing, and walk away. The only
time you would do something different is if you get what we call an
“aggressive pouter.” An aggressive pouter is a child who follows you
all over the house to make sure you don’t miss a minute of her sour
face. If she does, “That’s 1.” She’s trying to rub your nose in her
grumpiness, and you’re not going to allow her to do that.
Lying
Counting is not always useful for lying, for two reasons. One reason is
lying is a more serious offense that should be addressed immediately,
and the second reason is lying is often used to cover up other
misbehaviors. Lying drives some parents crazy, and managing this
problem is often confusing and difficult, so we’ll try to provide some
basic guidelines to help you deal with it.
There are basically two kinds of lies. The first kind involves
making up stories that are designed to impress other people and build
up one’s ego. This type of verbal fabrication is not common in
children, who don’t feel the same kind of pressure to influence others’
opinions of them that adults do. The second—and by far the most
common type—is lying to avoid trouble. These lies may involve
covering up a past misdeed or trying to get out of some unpleasant
task. Kids who steal, for example, will almost always lie about the
theft when they are initially confronted. Other kids lie about not
having homework so they won’t have to face that boring job.
In dealing with lying, parents should first remember not to
overreact. Not telling the truth certainly isn’t a good thing, but it’s not
usually a truly terrible behavior. Many parents get so upset about
lying that they act as though the world is coming to an end. These