and part you won’t like. Here’s what you won’t like: if the thing you
do is bad enough to start with, like swearing or hitting, we’ll say,
‘That’s 3. Take ten or fifteen.’ That means there aren’t any other
warnings. You just go straight to your room, and the time will be
longer.
“The part you will like is that most of the time we won’t talk about
what happened after a time-out. Well, that’s the new deal. It’s pretty
simple. Do you have any questions?”
You can expect the kids to sit there and look at you like you’ve
just gone off your rocker. Some kids will poke each other and
exchange knowing glances, as if to say, “Well, it looks like Mom
went to the library again and got another one of those books on how to
raise us. Last time she stuck to it for about four days, and Dad never
did anything different at all. I think if we stick together and hang
tough, we should be running the house again inside of a week, right?”
Don’t expect your kids to be grateful, to look enlightened, or to
thank you for your efforts to raise them responsibly. Just get going,
stick to your guns, and—when in doubt—count!
Dress Rehearsal
Now you can have some fun. Since some two-, three-, and four-year-
olds won’t understand everything you’ve just said, it’s a good idea to
rehearse or role-play counting for them. It’s also very important to
rehearse with the older children. Rehearsing the procedure gives the
kids a feel for what’s going to happen and also tells the children
you’re serious.
Here’s what you say next: “Kids, let’s practice counting. Who
wants to start? OK, Kieran, pretend you’re whining at me for candy.
Can you do a good whine?” (Kid whines). “Wow, that was a good
whine! Now I’ll say, ‘That’s 1.’ Now whine again...” And so on.