testing and manipulation. These are the efforts of the less-powerful
child to get what he wants or to avoid discipline by making his parent
emotionally confused and consequently sidetracked.
Three Things to Remember about Testing and
Manipulation
- Testing occurs when a child is frustrated. You are not giving
him the potato chips he wants; you are counting him; you are
making him do homework or go to bed. He doesn’t like this and
hopes for a way to get what he wants in spite of the obstacle
(you). - Testing, therefore, is purposeful behavior. The primary
purpose of a child’s testing, obviously, is to get his way rather
than have you impose your will on him. If the child still doesn’t
get his way, testing and manipulation can have a secondary
purpose: revenge. - When engaging in testing and manipulation, a child has a
choice of six basic tactics. All six can serve the primary
purpose of getting one’s way, and five of the six tactics can
serve the secondary purpose of revenge. Often a child’s testing
behavior will represent a combination of one or more of the six
basic tactics.
Key Concept