1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting

(Marcin) #1

The message is clear: something bad is going to happen unless you
give me what I want immediately. Give me the Twinkie right before
dinner, stop counting me, don’t make me go to bed, or else! Some of
the threats that younger children come up with are funny. One little
girl, whose mother was trying to get her to go to bed, angrily shouted,
“All right, I’ll go. But I’m going to lie there all night with my eyes
open!”
Another child, a six-year-old boy, was counted and timed out by
his father for squirting the dog with a hose. The boy threatened to run
away, actually packed a small bag, and walked out the front door.
After five minutes, however, he walked back in the door and yelled at
his dad, “I couldn’t run away because you guys won’t let me cross the
street!”
Other threats are not funny. Some frustrated children threaten to
kill themselves, and this is something no parent takes lightly. Parents
wonder if these threats are just manipulative or if their child really
wants to die. Two questions can help parents sort out this dilemma.
First of all, is this child generally happy? Does she enjoy life most of
the time, have friends, do OK in school, and fit into the family? If the
answers to these questions are positive, it is less likely that the child
truly wants to end her life. Second, did the suicidal threat come out of
the blue or was the comment a response to some obvious recent
frustration? If “I’m going to kill myself” comes out of nowhere, the
threat is always more worrisome and needs to be looked into.

Free download pdf