if you’d like to get out of an unwanted supervisory role faster—here’s
a version of natural consequences for you. This up-and-out program
involves some drastic alterations in the morning routine, and these
changes will often shock the kids into being much more responsible
for themselves. But be forewarned: extreme self-restraint on the part
of moms and dads is required.
Before explaining this new regime, we remind parents that—
believe it or not—most kids want to go to school and would be
embarrassed if they were late or didn’t show up at all. Parents don’t
appreciate that their kids feel this way because the kids goof off in the
morning instead of getting ready. But the kids dillydally precisely
because their parents have habitually taken all the responsibility for
them getting to school on time.
Now that way of thinking is going to change—in both children and
parents. Here’s how the new procedure works. You explain to the kids
that from now on, it will be their responsibility—not yours—to get up
and out in the morning. You will neither supervise them nor nag
them. If you have been waking them up, you will wake them up only
once from now on. A better system is to get an alarm clock or cell
phone with an alarm function and show the child how to use it.
Explain to the kids that if they go back to sleep after your one wake-
up call or after the alarm goes off, you will not wake them again and
they will definitely have a problem.
You make it clear to the kids that getting up, getting dressed,
washing up, eating breakfast, and leaving on time will be their job—
totally. If you wish, you can chart the kids on how well they do
getting up and out, but other than casual conversation, you will not
say anything to them.
Your children will not believe that you are serious, because they
will find it completely incomprehensible that you would ever allow
them to get to school late. (You may have trouble with that concept
too!) So guess what? You are going to have to make believers out of
marcin
(Marcin)
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