Anger: Bringing your work home
Wrong way: You’ve had a terrible day at work, having made two
major mistakes and aggravating your boss big time. When you walk
in the door, the kids are watching TV and the family room floor is
covered with books, papers, pens, toys, and just general junk. You
think, “Why can’t these kids ever put anything away?” You yell,
“What’s the matter with you guys! THIS ISN’T A PIGPEN. IT’S
SUPPOSED TO BE A HOME!”
Right way: You think, “I’m a walking time bomb waiting to go off.
Kids are kids, and we’ll worry about picking up at eight o’clock like
we usually do.” You say, “Hi, guys. I’ve had a terrible day and need a
little space for a few minutes.”
Guilt: The poor kid!
Wrong way: It’s 2:30 p.m. on a long, boring summer day. Your nine-
year-old son asks you to buy him the new, all-the-rage video game.
It’s not that expensive. You reply, “Not today.” He whimpers, “I never
get to do anything. This summer really sucks!” You think, “I never
liked the way my parents treated me. Poor kid. Why am I being so
selfish?” You say, “All right, but that’s all we’re getting. I have work
to do!”
Right way: You think, “His whimpering is Testing Tactic 4,
martyrdom. He needs to develop more constructive ways of
entertaining himself.” You say nothing.
Sadness: Poor me
Wrong way: Two weeks ago your best friend of fourteen years