And so on, and so on. What you do instead depends on how big you
are and how big the child is.
The little kids: Let’s say you weigh one hundred twenty-five
pounds, and your five-year-old son weighs forty-five pounds. If he
doesn’t go to his room at 3, you simply move toward him. Some kids
will then stay two feet ahead of you all the way to the room. That’s
OK; they’ll soon start going by themselves. Other kids have to be
“escorted” (keep your mouth closed while doing this), which can
mean taking them gently by the arm, as well as dragging or carrying
them to the room.
The bigger kids: Now let’s imagine that it’s five years later. Your
ten-year-old son at this point weighs ninety-five pounds, and you—
through a rigid program of diet and exercise—still weigh one hundred
twenty-five. You are no longer in a position to get into a physical
altercation with this boy. He’s too big, and wrestling matches make a
fool out of you.
Your savior here will be the time-out alternative. If after your
“That’s 3. Take ten,” your son doesn’t appear to be going anywhere,
you inform him that he has a choice. He can go for time-out or choose
one of the following: bedtime half an hour earlier, fifty cents off his
allowance, or no electronic entertainment for the evening.
“Community service,” some kind of small chore, is also a nice option.
(Some parents have used weeding or scrubbing a sink or toilet.) Many
parents let the child pick the consequence. If the child refuses, the
parent selects the punishment.
A problem arises here because your child hasn’t gone to his room
and the two of you are still face-to-face. Lots of kids in this situation
want to stick around and argue with you about how stupid your rules
are, how stupid 1-2-3 Magic is, and how stupid the guy who wrote it
must be.
You know you’re not allowed to argue. What are you going to do?
You can use a “reverse time-out,” in which you just turn around and
marcin
(Marcin)
#1