leave the room. Go to your room or even the bathroom if necessary—
having stocked them with good reading materials beforehand—and
wait the storm out. Or walk around the house a few times. But don’t
talk.
Some parents have asked, “Why should I be the one to leave?
After all, I’m the adult.” Fine. Stay put if you can keep quiet and
avoid both being provocative and being provoked. But if your real
motive is the desire to stick around for a good fight, that’s a bad
strategy.
Can you count different misbehaviors to get to three?
Yes. You don’t have to have different counts for each different kind
of misbehavior. Imagine: “Let’s see, he’s on a 1 for throwing that
block across the room. He’s on a 2 for teasing his sister. He’s on a 1
for yelling at me. He’s on a 2 for...”
This routine would soon drive you insane, and you’d need to use
your computer to keep track of everything. So if the child pushes his
sister, for example, “That’s 1.” If he throws a block across the room,
“That’s 2,” and then if he screams at you for counting him, “That’s 3.
Take five.” Mom could say “1,” Dad could say “2,” and Mom or Dad
could say, “That’s 3.” In fact, we encourage you to share the joy.
Quik TipWhat if the child won’t go to time-out? It’s OK to “escort” little kids to the chair or
room. That could mean carrying them, but you must keep quiet! Switch older kids
to a time-out alternative. Give them a choice or decide yourself, then walk away.