friends, and no electronic entertainment.
Some people ask: “Well then, just how is a rest period supposed to
work? My kid tells me that time-out’s fine with her. She doesn’t care,
and she’ll just go upstairs and play.” Don’t pay much attention to any
child who says, “I don’t care.” That comment usually means the
opposite: she does care. And if her room were such a great place to
be, she would have been up there in the first place.
The fact of the matter is that the power of the 1-2-3 method does
not come so much from the time-out itself. It usually comes from the
interruption of the child’s activities. When this girl was timed out for
hitting her brother, she was watching her favorite TV show. Now she
has to miss a big chunk of the show. No one—including you—likes to
be interrupted and miss out on something fun.
If you really feel the time-out strategy is not effective, consider
three things. First, are you still talking too much and getting too
emotional during discipline efforts? Parental outbursts ruin
everything. Second, if you feel you are remaining calm and time-out
is still not working, consider another time-out place or room. Third,
consider time-out alternatives.
Why three counts? Children should respond the first time
you ask! Why give the kids three chances to misbehave?
It’s interesting to hear different parents’ reactions to 1-2-3 Magic.
Some people (usually those attempting to discipline their children for
the first time) think counting is too dictatorial, while others see
counting as a sign of parental weakness, believing that children
shouldn’t get three chances to misbehave before being punished.
The reason for three counts is simple. You want to give the kids
two chances—the first two counts—to shape up (unless what they did
was so serious that it merited an automatic 3). How are children going
to learn to do the right thing if they never get a chance? And with
counting, the “chance” comes right away—in the first few seconds