following the count. That immediate opportunity helps them learn.
They’re just kids!
What if you have other people over?
By this time, you can probably anticipate the answer to this question.
You will need to (1) get used to counting in front of other people and
(2) not alter your strategy one bit when others are watching. The
ultimate test, of course, is when you’re out in public (see next
chapter). For right now, we’ll discuss what should happen in the
safety of your own home.
From time to time, other people will be at your home when your
kids decide to act up. In fact, the presence of other people often seems
to trigger disruptive behavior in many kids, presenting parents with
the complicated challenge of disciplining children while on stage.
Among the groups of people who perversely decide to put you in this
awkward position are your children’s friends, other parents (with or
without their kids), and finally, grandparents. Let’s examine the
problems presented by each group.
Other kids: If your child has a friend over, count your child just
as you would if no one else were there. If your child gets timed out,
he goes to the room and—remember—his friend may not join him.
Just explain to the other boy or girl that you’re using this new system
and your child will be back in five minutes or so. If your son or
daughter says to you, “Mom, it’s so embarrassing when you count me
in front of my friends,” you say to them once, “If you don’t want to be
embarrassed, you can behave.”
Another thing you can do in this situation is count the other child
too. After all, it’s your house. If his parent is there, you’d better ask
permission and explain a bit before you start disciplining her child.
Another variation with other kids over is “1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3: out
of the house to play.” This can be very helpful, especially if you have
a difficult child who often gets overly excited when a playmate is