Though there are several effective ways to get kids to go on the
toilet, my favorite method is for the parent to do very little formal
training. Too many parents are in too big a hurry to get their kids
potty trained, and this big rush can cause all kinds of trouble. Instead,
let the kids see you use the toilet and get them a potty chair of their
own. Most children will eventually learn how to use the thing without
much direct coaching from you. When they are successful, you can
then praise and reward them.
Another frequently unsuccessful parent tactic in this regard is
repeatedly asking a child—when he’s looking squirmy—if he has to
go to the bathroom. It’s much better to say this: “Someday you’re
gonna surprise me and go on the potty!”
What if there’s an obvious problem between two of your
children, but you didn’t see what happened?
Your daughter, Suzie, comes running into the kitchen and yells, “Dad,
Bobby should get a 1!” You haven’t the slightest idea what the
problem is, but the chances are the issue revolves around sibling
rivalry. In general our rule is this: if you didn’t see the argument or
conflict, you don’t count it. If you hear it, you can count it.
If you’re in the kitchen and you hear a ruckus starting in the
family room, for example, there’s nothing to stop you from calling,
“Hey, guys, that’s 1.” Of course, you want to use this rule with
flexibility. If you feel one child is consistently being victimized by
another, you may have to intervene and count just the aggressive
child. On the other hand, if the tattling is getting out of hand, many
parents decide to count the tattler.
Does being counted hurt the child’s self-esteem?
Most kids aren’t counted a lot, so the mere quantity of counts is
usually not a problem. Once you’ve gotten started at home, many
children will not get any counts for days at a time. In a regular