The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically I

Plan B 103

have come up before, that this isn’t the first time home-
work has been an issue, and that scary movies have been a
concern for your child previously. Here’s how the empathy
step would sound if we were attempting Proactive Plan B:

Adult (Empathy, using Proactive B): I know that your

medicine has been making you sick to your

stomach and that you’re not too happy about

that.

Adult (Empathy, using Proactive B): We were thinking

of going to the movies this afternoon and I know

that sometimes you don’t want to go because

you’re worried there will be scary parts.

Adult (Empathy, using Proactive B, with an attempt to

clarify): I’ve noticed that homework has been a

struggle lately. But I don’t think I understand why

that is. What’s up with the homework?

Child: It’s too hard for me.

Adult (Refined Empathy, with another attempt to

clarify): It’s too hard for you. Is there a certain part

that’s hard for you?

Child: The writing part. At school they don’t make

me do as much writing as you do.

Adult (Refined Empathy): Ah, the writing part is hard

for you and I make you do more writing than they

do at school.