156 The Explosive ChildParent: Billy, I know that you like playing with your
friends after school and that it’s sometimes hard
to stop to come in for dinner.
Billy: Yeah.
Parent: The thing is, it’s really important to me that
we eat dinner together as a family.
Billy: I don’t care if we eat dinner together as a
family.
Parent: Uhm...OK...maybe it’s more important to
me that we eat together than it is to you. But I’d
still like to see if we can solve the problem. You
want to keep playing with your friends, and I want
us to eat dinner together as a family. Let’s think
about different ways we could solve that
problem.My child and I agree on a solution and then he won’t do
what he agreed to.As you’ll read in Chapter 8, that’s usually a sign that the
solution wasn’t realistic, doable, or mutually satisfactory in the
first place. Remember, Plan B isn’t an exercise in wishful
thinking. Both parties need to be able to follow through on
the solution. If your child isn’t following through, it’s proba-
bly not because he won’t but because he can’t. Better work to-
ward a solution that he can actually do.