56 The Explosive ChildEventually, she lost it completely. She was screaming
and crying, but I was determined that she would eat the
chili I had made her.”
“What did you do then?” the therapist asked.
“We sent her to her bedroom and told her she had to
stay there until she was ready to eat the chili,” said He-
len’s mother. “For the next hour she screamed and cried
in her room; at one point, she was banging on her mirror
and broke it. Can you imagine? All this over chili! I went
up to her room a few times to see if I could calm her
down, but it was impossible. Helen was totally irrational.
The amazing thing is that, at one point, she couldn’t
even remember what she was upset about.”
“Why was it so important to you that she eat the chili
instead of the macaroni and cheese?” the therapist asked.
“Because I inconvenienced myself to do something
nice for her,” the father responded.
“Sounds like a legitimate concern to me,” the therapist
said. “Do you think that your enduring this explosion—
having Helen go nuts in her room for an hour, breaking
her mirror, and ruining your evening—made it any less
likely that she’ll explode the next time she’s frustrated
over something similar?” the therapist asked.
“No” was the instantaneous, unanimous response.
“What was Helen like when the episode was all over?”
the therapist asked.
“Very remorseful and very loving,” the mother re-