60 The Explosive Childable to help himself. The therapist’s sense early on was
that Danny’s extreme irritability was a major factor con-
tributing to his explosions; there was also some suggestion
that black-and-white thinking (the cognitive flexibility
pathway) might be coming into play. He said he exploded
more with his mother because she “nags too much.”
At the beginning of one session, the mother described
Danny’s biggest explosion of the week.
“Yesterday, I told him he had to come in from playing
basketball to eat dinner. He whined a little, but I insisted.
Next thing I know, his face is red, he’s calling me every
name in the book, he’s accusing me of ruining his life, and
I’m hiding behind a door trying to shield myself from get-
ting kicked. I was petrified. So was his sister. And it’s not
the first time. Twenty minutes later, he was sorry. But this is
just ridiculous,” said the mother. “I’m sick of being hit, and
it’s just impossible to reason with him once he gets going.”
“What did you do once he’d calmed down?” the ther-
apist asked.
“I punished him for swearing at me and trying to kick
me,” replied the mother. “I feel he needs to be disciplined
for that kind of behavior.”
“I can understand you feeling that way. Tell me, have
you always punished him when he’s acted like that?” the
therapist asked.
“You bet,” the mother said. “I’m not willing to just let
that kind of disrespect slide.”