Pathways and Triggers Brought to Life 61“What happens when you punish him?” the therapist
asked.
“He goes nuts,” she said. “It’s horrible.”
“But despite all the punishing, he’s still very verbally
and physically aggressive, yes?”
“That’s why I’m here,” the mother said, smiling
through gritted teeth.
“Well,” the therapist said, “I’m all in favor of punish-
ment when it’s productive—you know, when it’s effec-
tive at changing a child’s behavior. But I’m not real keen
on punishment just for the sake of punishment.”
“What, I should let him get away with what he does?”
demanded the mother.
“Don’t get me wrong,” the therapist said. “We need to
help him stop exploding and hitting. But based on what
you’ve been telling me, ‘not letting him get away with it’
hasn’t changed his behavior at all.”
The mother pondered this observation for a moment.
“I think I figured that eventually the message would
get through if I just kept plugging away,” she explained.
“I never stopped to think that maybe the message would
never get through.”
“Oh, I suspect Danny knows you don’t like his behav-
ior,” the therapist said. “In fact, I’m reasonably certain he
even knows how you’d like him to behave.”
“Then why doesn’t he?” the mother demanded.
“Now that I’ve met with Danny a few times, I get the