The Truth About Consequences 83may not be getting anywhere—or doing any
productive teaching—by engaging in frequent
battles with him whenever you try to force him to
be more flexible.
Question: But if I don’t teach my child how to be
flexible, how will he learn?
Answer: If he’s going to learn to be more flexible—
and I’m optimistic that he can—it’s not going to
happen by your being a role model for inflexibility.
Question: But the old way worked for me; I’m just
raising my kids the same way I was raised.
Answer: The way you were raised may have worked
for you—and it seems to be working for your other
children—but it’s clearly not working as well for
your explosive child.
Question: Don’t I need to set a precedent now so
my child knows who’s boss and doesn’t think he
can always get his way?
Answer: Your explosive child already knows you’re
the boss and already knows he can’t always get
his way. Mission accomplished. So you can
probably stop setting precedents and teaching
him who’s the boss and that he can’t always get
his way. He needs something else from you.
Question: I don’t know what else to do.
Answer: You won’t be able to say that after you’re
through reading this book.