sadness may last longer than other emotions, it, too, will
pass. All life, the sadness and sorrow included, is
impermanent and will end. There are always going to be
highs and lows in any life, in any year, in any day. So
much of our mood comes from what we focus on. We can
choose to focus on what is going well for us and for the
people in our life. As the Archbishop said, we can count
our blessings. By putting our attention on the things we
are grateful for, we can shift how much time we spend in
sadness and how quickly we return to joy. The Dalai
Lama’s ability to focus on what has been enriching about
life in exile rather than all that has been lost has allowed
him to go beyond sadness, grief, and even despair.Frustration and Anger—A Prayer
During the days of apartheid, the Archbishop would pray daily for the
government officials who were maintaining the oppressive system. He
prayed for them to transform their hearts and to transform the racist
system that they created, but he also prayed sincerely for their well-
being. It helped him to love them rather than hate them, and ultimately
made it possible to work with them to help transition the country to
democracy.
1 . Close your eyes and turn your attention inward.
2 . Think of the person who is upsetting you and say a prayer
for them. Pray for their joy and happiness. Sincerely wish
them well. See them as a child of God deserving of God’s love,
or as another human being who shares your desire to be happy
and avoid suffering.
3 . Try to do this each day for two weeks. See how your
relationship is transformed.