Loneliness—A Common Humanity Practice
The Dalai Lama speaks constantly of our common humanity at the
“first level.” The things that divide us (our ethnicity, our race, our
nationality, even our gender) are much less significant than the things
that unite us: our common humanity, our human emotions, and our
fundamental desire to be happy and avoid suffering. Because we each
have a human body, a human brain, and a human heart, we each have the
same human longings, and, as the Archbishop often points out, the same
human frailties and vulnerabilities. The common humanity practice
reminds us that despite appearances and our fears of rejection, we are
really deeply connected even when we do not see it.
The Archbishop was born just a short distance from the Cradle of
Humankind, the place where our species is supposed to have originated.
In a mere thousand generations, we have spread all across the world. As
the Archbishop has said, “We are all cousins, really, perhaps just a few
thousand times removed.”
1 . Think of someone you love—a child, parent, close friend, or
even a cherished pet. Bring their image into your mind and
allow yourself to feel the love that you have for them. Notice
the sense of warmth and openheartedness that comes from
feeling your love for them.
2 . Imagine their desire to be happy and to avoid suffering.
Reflect on how they live their life to achieve these aspirations.
3 . Think of someone you know but do not know well. You could
think of a colleague at your job, someone in your class at
school, or someone who works at one of the stores where you
shop. Allow yourself to recognize how your feelings for this
person are different from the feelings you have for the person
you just had in mind. We often do not feel empathy or
connection for those who we consider strangers. Perhaps you
feel indifference, perhaps a sense of separation, or perhaps
even judgment. Now try to imagine being this person. Imagine