entered the room to see the young mother bent over and sobbing from the
depths of her being. . . . I felt overwhelmed, as if I was going to collapse
under the weight of the suffering and my task. What could I offer? Then I
remembered the “giving and receiving” technique of tonglen. . . . So I
breathed in the suffering as if it were a dark cloud and breathed out
golden light from my heart into the room and to everyone I encountered.
A whole new level of integration happened. I could open to the
experience of suffering and found something necessary and precious to
sustain me. The suffering became fluid with each breath and washed over
me so that I began to become unstuck. I began to feel the liberation of not
being trapped in the experience of suffering but the freedom that
happened as a result of actively engaging in it.”
Tonglen can also be used to reduce our own suffering by freeing us
from our own excessive self-concern and focusing our attention on
others. Jinpa tells another story, about Tibetan musician Nawang
Khechog, who suffered a horrible car accident and had to have multiple
life-saving surgeries. It was tonglen practice that had sustained him
during the weeks of pain and of not knowing whether he would live. He
would spend hours in bed thinking of others who were experiencing
physical and emotional pain. He would breathe in their suffering and
breathe out his compassion and concern for their recovery. Khechog
recovered completely and was able to return to playing music.
Tonglen can allow us to become oases of peace and healing. The Dalai
Lama used this practice to transform not only the suffering of the Tibetan
protesters who were being injured during the 2008 demonstrations in
Tibet but also the anger and hatred of the Chinese soldiers who were
cracking down on the protesters. As the Dalai Lama explained, whether or
not it actually helped those on the ground, it transformed his relationship
to the suffering and allowed him to respond more effectively.
1 . Begin by settling your mind with several long breaths
through your nose.
2 . Think of someone who is suffering. You can choose a loved