11 6 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
my resentment grew, [ was even less interested in broaching
the subject. "- Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person do what
Louis is doing?
"He really cares about producing good-quality work. Maybe
he doesn't realize that I'm as committed to the success of the
project as he is. " - What do I really want?
"[ want a respectful relationship with Louis. And [ want
recognition fo r the work [ do. "- What would I do right now if I really wanted these results?
''I'd make an appointment to sit down with Louis and talk
about how we work together. "As we tell the rest of the story, we free ourselves from the poi
soning effects of unhealthy emotions. Best of all, as we regain
control and move back to dialogue, we become masters of our
own emotions rather than hostages.
And what about Maria? What did she actually do? She sched
uled a meeting with Louis. As she prepared for the meeting, she
refused to feed her ugly and incomplete stories, admitted her
own role in the problem, and entered the conversation with an
open mind. Perhaps Louis wasn't trying to make her appear bad
or fill in for her incompetence.
As Maria sat down with Louis, she found a way to tentatively
share what she had observed. (We'll look at exactly how to do
this in the next chapter.) Fortunately, not only did Maria master
her story, but she knew how to talk about it as well. While
engaging in healthy dialogue, Louis apologized for not includ
ing her in meetings with the boss. He explained that he was try
ing to give the boss a heads-up on some controversial parts of