EXPLORE OTHERS' PATHS 1 55(You enter her room and sit on her bed.)YOU: I'm really sorry for embarrassing you like that. That
was a bad way to handle it. [Apologize to build safety]
WENDY: It's just that you do that a lot. It's like you want to
control everything in my life.
YOU: Can we talk about that? [Ask]
WENDY: (Sounding angry) It's no big deal. You're the par
ent, right?
YOU: From the way you say that, it sounds like it is a big
deal. [Mirror] I really would like to hear what makes you
think I'm trying to control your life. [Ask]
WENDY: What, so you can tell me more ways that I'm
screwed up? I've finally got one friend who accepts me,
and you're trying to chase him away!
YOU: So you feel like I don't approve of you, and your friend
is one person who does? [Paraphrase]
WENDY: It's not just you. All my friends have lots of boys
who like them. Doug's the first guy who's even called me.
I don't know-never mind.
YOU: I can see how you'd feel badly when others are getting
attention from boys and you aren't. I'd probably feel the
same way. [Paraphrase]
WENDY: Then how could you embarrass me like that?!
YOU: Honey, I'd like to take a stab at something here. I won
der if part of the reason you've started dressing differently
and hanging out with different friends is because you're
not feeling cared about and valued by boys, by your par
ents, and by others right now. Is that part of it? [Prime]
WENDY: (Sits quietly fo r a long time) Why am I so ugly? I
really work on how I look but ...