170 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
to do what you wanted to do all along. For example, the boss
calls on people and then strikes down ideas that aren't in line
with what he or she has in mind, while giving subtle clues and
gentle rewards to those who stumble onto the "right idea."- Announce what you're doing. When you are only going to
involve a sample of the people who will be affected, let others
know who these people are so they can talk to them if they
like. This is akin to holding neighborhood political meetings.
Not everyone will show up, but people who want to take part
can take part. - Report your decision. When others are kind enough to share
their opinions (whether you take their advice or not), they
deserve to know what you decide and why. Don't try to keep
your decision a secret because you're afraid you'll offend peo
ple. They'll soon learn of the decision anyway. Better to hear
it from you and not through the grapevine.
Holding a Good Vote
- We igh the consequences. Voting by its very nature creates
winners and losers. So you have to be careful. You should only
take a vote when you know that the losers don't really care all
that much. Otherwise you may be fighting the battle for a long
time after the decision has been made. With children, for
example, have them carefully consider if they're okay with los
ing before they agree to have you take a poll. - Know when to vote. When matters aren't all that weighty, there
are many good choices to select from, and people care about
not taking too much time, then take a vote. It's the kind of thing
you do to reduce lengthy lists. Vote to reduce the list of twenty
items to five. Then use consensus to select from the five.