Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

11

A man surprised is half beaten.

-THOMAS FULLER

Yeah, But

Advice fo r Tough Cases

As we (the authors) have taught this material, we've grown
accustomed to people saying, "Yeah, but my situation's more dif­
ficult than that!" Or "Yeah, but the people I deal with aren't so
quick to come around. Besides, most of the problems I face come
as a surprise. I'm caught off guard." In short, people can think
of a dozen reasons why the skills we've been talking about don't
apply to the situations they care about.

• "Yeah, but what if someone does something that's really sub­
  tle? It drives you crazy but it's hard to identify. How do you
  handle that?"


• "Yeah, but what if my life partner refuses to ever talk about
  anything impurtant? You can't force a person into dialogue."