194 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS- "Yeah, but what if I can't calm down quickly enough? I've
been told not to go to bed angry, but sometimes I think I need
time alone. What should I do?" - "Yeah, but what if I don't trust the other person? How am I
supposed to deal with that?" - "Yeah, but both my boss and spouse are too sensitive to take
any feedback. Shouldn't I just let things slide?"
In truth, the dialogue skills we've shared apply to just about
any problem you can imagine. However, since some are more dif
ficult than others, we've chosen seventeen tough cases. We'll
take a moment to share a thought or two on each.
SEXUAL OR OTHER HARASSMENT
"YEAH I
BUT...IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE'S BLATANTLY harassing me or
anything, but I don't like the way I'm being treated.
How can I bring it up without making enemies?"The Danger Point
Someone is making comments or gestures that you find offen
sive. The person does it seldom enough and he or she's subtle
enough that you're not sure if HR or your boss can even help.
What can you do?
In these situations it's easy to think that the offender has all
the power. It seems as if the rules of polite society make it so that
others can behave inappropriately and you end up looking like
you're overreacting if you bring it up.
Generally speaking, a vast majority of these problems go away
if they're privately, respectfully, and firmly discussed. Your
biggest challenge will be the respect part. If you put up with this
behavior for too long, you'll be inclined to tell a more and more
potent Villain Story about the offender. This will jack up your