YEAH, BUT 199but despite their genuine efforts, people still keep their distance.
Often, people treat their leaders like celebrities or dictators,
regardless of the fact that they've done nothing to deserve it.
Before you do anything, you need to find out if you're the
cause, if you're living with ghosts of bosses past, or both.
Command it away. Many leaders seek the simple path. They
tell people to stop deferring.
"It seems to me that you're agreeing with me because I'm
the boss and not because what I'm saying makes sense."
"Absolutely!"
"I'd prefer that you stop deferring to me and simply listen
to the idea."
"Okay. whatever you say, Boss!"
With ingrained deference you face a catch-22. If you don't say
something, it'll probably continue. If you do say something, you
may be inadvertently encouraging it to continue.
The Solution
Work on me first. Discover your part in the problem. Don't ask
your direct reports. If they're already deferring to you, they'll
whitewash the problem. Consult with a peer who watches you in
action. Ask for honest feedback. Are you doing things that cause
people to defer to you? If so, what? Explore your peer's path by
having him or her point out your specific behaviors. Jointly devel
op a plan of attack, work on it, and seek continued feedback.
If the problem stems from ghosts (the actions of previous
leaders), go public. Describe the problem in a group or team
meeting and then ask for advice. Don't try to command it away.
You can't. Reward risk takers. Encourage testing. When people
do express an opinion contrary to yours, thank them for their
honesty. Play devil's advocate. If you can't get others to disagree,