The Last Black Unicorn

(Ann) #1
Bailiff:    “What   you got?”

He  took    the papers  to  the judge,  and he  came    back.

Bailiff:    “It’s   not one of  the cases   on  mle,    so  we  can’t   do
it.”

I   went    back    down    to  the clerk’s office.

Tiffany:    “Can    you make    it  so  I   can see the judge?”

Clerk:  “We’ll  send    your    case    up  to  the courtroom.  But
you have to come back tomorrow.”

I went through all that again the next day, and they were
still not paying attention to me.
But this time, I was prepared. I had brought a Walkman,
a magazine, chewing gum, a soda—all the stuĉ they say not
to have. Today, I was going to get their attention. ͳey
were not gonna ignore me.
So I was nipping the magazine, popping the bubblegum,
and drinking a soda, and the judge was trying not to notice.
Then all of a sudden, he kind of snaps:


Judge:   “Who    are     you?    What    are     you     doing   in  my
courthouse?”

Tiffany:    “I’m    Tiĉany  Haddish.    I’m here    so  you can sign
my papers.”
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