180
in a car when he was sixteen, he treated that car like it was fine
china—you could eat lunch off the hood. He had counted the
cost, and valued the result (Luke 14:28).
Respecting the Limits of Others
From an early age, children need to be able to accept the
limits of parents, siblings, and friends. They need to know that
others don’t always want to play with them, that others may not
want to watch the same TV shows they want, and that others
may want to eat dinner at a different restaurant than they do.
They need to know that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
This is important for a couple of reasons. First, the ability to
learn to accept limits teaches us to take responsibility for our-
selves. Knowing that others are not always available for us, at our
beck and call, helps us to become inwardly directed instead of
externally driven. It helps us carry our own knapsack.
Have you ever been around a child who can’t hear no, who
keeps whining, cajoling, throwing a tantrum, or pouting till he
gets his way? The problem is, the longer we hate and resist the
limits of others, the more dependent we will be on others. We
expect others to take care of us, rather than simply taking care
of ourselves.
At any rate, God has constructed life itself to teach us this
law. It’s the only way we can live on this planet together. Sooner
or later, someone will say a no to us that we can’t ignore. It’s
built into the fabric of life. Observe the progression of nos in the
life of the person who resists others’ limits:
- the no of parents
- the no of siblings
- the no of schoolteachers
- the no of school friends
- the no of bosses and supervisors
- the no of spouses
- the no of health problems from overeating, alcoholism, or an
irresponsible lifestyle - the no of police, the courts, and even prison
Boundaries