257your mom and dad to explore the world. As a five-year-old you
left home to go to school, opening up possibilities of socializa-
tion and learning. As an adolescent, you stepped further away
from your parents as new competencies and possibilities
emerged. As a high school graduate, you left for college or got a
job and learned to live on your own.
These steps are scary indeed. But, along with the fear, you
stretched to new heights, possibilities, and realizations of God,
yourself, and the world. This is the two-sided nature of bound-
aries. You may lose something, but you gain a new life of peace-
fulness and self-control.
Here are some ideas that may prove helpful:
- Pray. No better antidote to anxiety about the future exists
than faith, hope, and the realization of the one who loves us.
Prayer gets us in touch with the one in whom our security lies.
Lean on God and ask him to lead your future steps. - Read the Bible. God continually tells us in the Bible that
he has our future in his hands and that he promises to lead us.
The Bible is full of stories about how he has proven himself
faithful to others as he led them into the unknown. When I was
a college student faced with the uncertainty of the future, my
favorite verse was “Trust in the LORDwith all your heart and
lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowl-
edge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Prov. 3:5–6).
Memorizing Scripture verses will give you comfort when you
face the unknown. It will remind you that God is trustworthy. - Develop your gifts. Boundaries create independence of
functioning. We cannot feel good about our independence if we
are not developing skills and competencies. Take classes. Gain
information. Get counseling. Get more training and education.
And practice, practice, practice. As your skills develop, you will
have less fear of the future. - Lean on your support group. Just as the child who is learn-
ing boundaries needs to look back and check in with mother for
refueling, so do adults. You need your support group to help
comfort you in the changes you are going through. Lean on
them, gain strength from them. “Two are better than one,
Resistance to Boundaries