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November    24th

TRAIN   TO  LET GO  OF  WHAT’S  NOT YOURS

“Whenever   you experience  the pangs   of  losing  something,  don’t   treat   it  like    a   part    of  yourself    but

as  a   breakable   glass,  so  when    it  falls   you will    remember    that    and won’t   be  troubled.   So  too,

whenever    you kiss    your    child,  sibling,    or  friend, don’t   layer   on  top of  the experience  all the

things  you might   wish,   but hold    them    back    and stop    them,   just    as  those   who ride    behind

triumphant  generals    remind  them    they    are mortal. In  the same    way,    remind  yourself    that    your

precious    one isn’t   one of  your    possessions,    but something   given   for now,    not forever .   .   .”

—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 3.24.84–86a

t a Roman triumph, the majority of the public would have their eyes glued to the victorious general at
the front—one of the most coveted spots during Roman times. Only a few would notice the aide in
the back, right behind the commander, whispering into his ear, “Remember, thou art mortal.” What a
reminder to hear at the peak of glory and victory!
In our own lives, we can train to be that whisper. When there is something we prize—or someone that
we love—we can whisper to ourselves that it is fragile, mortal, and not truly ours. No matter how strong
or invincible something feels, it never is. We must remind ourselves that it can break, can die, can leave
us.
Loss is one of our deepest fears. Ignorance and pretending don’t make things any better. They just
mean the loss will be all the more jarring when it occurs.