Isnonresistancealsotobepracticedintheexternalconduct
of our lives, such as nonresistance to violence, or is it
somethingthatjustconcernsourinnerlife?
Youonlyneedtobeconcernedwiththeinneraspect.Thatis
primary. Of course, that will also transform the conduct of
yourouterlife,yourrelationships,andsoon.
Your relationships will be changed profoundly by
surrender. If you can never accept what is, by implication
youwillnotbeabletoacceptanybodythewaytheyare.You
willjudge,criticize,label,reject,orattempttochangepeople.
Furthermore, if you continuously make the Now into a
means to an end in the future, you will also make every
personyouencounter or relate withinto ameans toan end.
Therelationship—thehumanbeing—isthenofsecondary
importancetoyou,or ofnoimportanceatall.What youcan
getoutoftherelationshipisprimary—beitmaterialgain,a
sense of power, physical pleasure, or some form of ego
gratification.
Let me illustrate how surrender can work in
relationships.Whenyou becomeinvolvedinanargumentor
some conflict situation, perhaps with a partner or someone
close to you,start byobservinghowdefensiveyou become
as your own position is attacked, or feel the force of your
own aggression as you attack the other person's position.
Observetheattachmenttoyourviewsandopinions.Feelthe
mental-emotional energy behind your need to be right and
maketheotherpersonwrong.That’stheenergyoftheegoic
mind. You make it conscious by acknowledging it, by
feelingitasfullyaspossible.Thenoneday,inthemiddleof
an argument, you will suddenly realize that you have a
choice, and you may decide to drop your own reaction —
just to see what happens. You surrender. I don't mean
droppingthereactionjustverballybysaying"Okay,youare
right,"withalookonyourfacethatsays,"Iamaboveallthis
childish unconsciousness." That’s just displacing the