Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

(Tina Meador) #1

Amanneedstobeacceptedregardlessofhisimperfections.Toacceptaperson'simperfectionsisnoteasy,
especially when we see how he could become better. It does, however, become easier when we
understandthatthebestwaytohelphimgrowistoletgooftryingtochangehiminanyway.


Thefollowingchartlistswaysawomancansupportamaningrowingandchangingbygivinguptryingto
changehiminanyway:


HOWTOGIVEUPTRYINGTOCHANGEAMAN


Whatshenewstoremember Whatshecando


1 .Remember:don'taskhimtoomanyquestionswhenheisupsetorhewillfeelyouaretryingtochange
him.


1 .Ignorethatheisupsetunlesshewantstotalktoyouaboutit.Showsomeinitialconcern,butnottoo
much,asaninvitationtotalk.


2 .Remember:giveuptryingtoimprovehiminanyway.Heneedsyourlove,notrejection,togrow.


2 .Trusthimtogrowonhisown.Honestlysharefeelingsbutwithoutthedemandthathechange.-


3 .Remember:whenyouofferunsolicitedadvicehemayfeelmistrusted,controlled,orrejected.


3 .Practicepatienceandtrustthathewillteamonhisownwhatheneedstolearn.Waituntilheasksfor
youradvice.


4 .Remember:whenamanbecomesstubbornandresistschangeheisnotfeelingloved;heisafraidto
admithismistakesforfearofnotbeingloved.


4 .Practiceshowinghimthathedoesn'thavetobeperfecttodeserveyourlove.Practiceforgiveness.(See
chapter 12 )


5 .Remember:ifyoumakesacrificeshopinghewilldothesameforyouthenhewillfeelpressuredto
change.


5 .Practicedoingthingsforyourselfandnotdependingonhimto-makeyouhappy.


6 .Remember:youcansharenegativefeelingswithouttryingtochangehim.Whenhefeelsaccepteditis
easierforhimtolisten.


6 .Whensharingfeelings,lethimknowthatyouarenottryingtotellhimwhattodobutthatyouwanthim
totakeyourfeelingsintoconsideration.


7 .Remember:ifyougivehimdirectionsandmakedecisionsforhimhewillfeelcorrectedandcontrolled.


7 .Relaxandsurrender.Practiceacceptingimperfection.Makehisfeelingsmoreimportantthanper-fection
anddon'tlectureorcorrecthim.

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