Whenreading the letters,hemay feelattackedby theangerand hurtandbecomedefensive.Atsuch
timesheneedstotakeatimeouttoreflectonwhatwassaid.
SometimeswhenapersonhearsaLoveLettertheyonlyheartheangeranditwilltakeawhilebeforethey
canhearthelove.Ithelpsif, afterabit, herereadstheletter,especially theregretandlovesections.
SometimesbeforeIreadaLoveLetterfrommywife,IreadthelovesectionfirstandthenIreadthefull
letter.
IfamanisupsetafterreadingaLoveLetter,hecouldalsorespondwithhisownLoveLetter,whichwould
allowhimtoprocessthenegativefeelingsthatcameupwhenhereadherLoveLetter.SometimesIdon't
know what is bothering meuntilmy wife shares a Love Letter with me, and then suddenly I have
somethingtowriteabout.BywritingmyletterIamabletofindagainmylovingfeelingsandrereadher
letterandhearthelovebehindherhurt.
Ifamancannotimmediatelyrespondwithlove,heneedstoknowthatit'sOKandnotbepunished.His
partnerneedstounderstandandaccepthisneedtothinkaboutthingsforawhile.Perhaps,tosupporthis
partner,hecansaysomethinglike"Thankyouforwritingthisletter.Ineedsometimetothink aboutit
andthenwecantalkaboutIt."Itisimportantthathenotexpresscriticalfeelingsabouttheletter.Sharing
lettersneedstobeasafetime.
AlloftheabovesuggestionsforsharingLoveLettersalsoapplywhenawomanhasdifficultyrespondingto
aman'sletterinalovingway. Igenerally recommendthatcouplesreadoutloudthelettersthey have
written.Itishelpfultoreadyourpartner'sletteroutloudbecauseithelpsthemfeelheard. Experiment
withboth,andseewhatfitsyou.
MAKINGITSAFEFORLOVELETTERS...........................................................................................
Sharing LoveLetters can be scary. The person writing their truefeelings willfeelvulnerable. Iftheir
partnerrejectsthemitcanbeverypainful.Thepurposeofsharingtheletteristoopenupfeelingssothat
partnerscanbecomecloser.Itworkswellaslongastheprocessisdoneinsafety.Thepersonreceiving
theLoveLetter needsto beparticularly respectfulofthewriter'sexpression.Ifthey cannotgivetrue,
respectfulsupport,thentheyshouldn'tagreetolistenuntiltheycan.
Sharinglettersneedstobedonewiththecorrectintention.Sharingaletterneedstobedoneinthespirit
ofthefollowingtwostatementsofintent:
StatementofIntentforWritingandSharingaLoveLetter
Ihavewrittenthisletterinordertofindmypositivefeelingsandtogiveyoutheloveyoudeserve.Aspart
ofthatprocessIamsharingwithyoumynegativefeelings,whichareholdingmeback.